![]() ![]() ![]() “And if you’re with me I’m going to have to be more important than a party is to you.” “If he had suggested a break before we left for school that would have shown me that what was really important to him was a party,” she said. These couples want to have their cake and eat it too, but are they potentially losing their relationship for a couple of meaningless one-night stands?Īnna Pettus, a junior majoring in English with a concentration in creative writing, was in a long-distance relationship when she entered college and imagines taking a break would have had a negative impact on the relationship. But what happens to these people when college life sets in and you see all your single friends enjoying different experiences? Sometimes it doesn’t matter, but sometimes resentment begins to set in as you wonder what you could be doing if you weren’t with your significant other.Ī lot of college couples take a “break” where they can hook up with other people in order to prevent any future resentment or infidelity in their relationship. There are people who come into college with relationships, some of which may have lasted throughout high school. With no parents around and new freedom to be taken advantage of, it’s a lot easier to experience the single life so many college students choose to enjoy. To overcome fear, you have to show yourself that you can do the damn thing.College is infamous for being the span of time in a person’s life where they do the majority of their hooking up. To overcome the fear of breaking up, you have to just do it. They can’t be what inspire us to make the boldest and bravest and best moves of our life. What I learned in the aftermath is, we will never feel ready, and that’s why feelings alone can’t be the deciding factor. Getting back together then was my way of either falling back in love or buying myself the time I needed to ready myself. Essentially, I knew that I was recommitting to him because I couldn’t commit to myself. Recommitting myself to him came a place of weakness, of having no other options, or not making myself available to other options. It starts with allowing the letdown to be alright. It starts with the cycle of recommitting yourself to someone who has let you down. "What I learned from my on-again, off-again relationship was that a life of smallness, a love of smallness, and a smaller you starts with breaking up and making up. For anyone who is having a lot of strife in their relationship, I would strongly consider a break." It gave us the opportunity to gain clarity about what we wanted, and we are stronger because of it. I say that the breakup was the best thing that could have ever happened to us. ![]() Today, we have an incredible friendship, and our relationship is stronger than ever. By October, I realized that I was ready to be in a relationship again. We slowly began rebuilding our friendship. In August, I allowed him to take me on a date. In July, my ex reached out to me, but I was not really trying to hear anything he had to say. Most importantly, I became very clear about who I was and the partner I wanted to be with in the future. I started doing the things I put on the back burner during the relationship. But after a few weeks of wallowing, I prayed and made a decision to focus on myself. Like, crying every night and not thinking that I would be able to survive without the relationship. In case you're considering it, here are just a few things that can happen when a couple takes a break. But as you can see from the others, couples really can bounce back after breaks. Ross and Rachel may have given us false hope.Ī lot of these stories are in line with the idea that couples on breaks are really better broken up. Another study in Personal Relationshipsfound that relationships were lower-quality after couples spent time apart. One study in the Journal of Marriage and Familyfound that only a third of couples who got back together after breaking up stayed together. This is just a small sample, though, so it might help to look at data. To find out which of these scenarios seems most common and which others might occur, I asked people what happened when they took breaks from relationships. While some couples realize down the road that their breaks should've been breakups, others recover from them and go on to enjoy happy, healthy relationships. As Chris Armstrong, a dating and relationships coach tells Bustle, breaks in relationships are usually about one of two things: someone needs to reflect internally on things like commitment or insecurity issues, or someone needs to reflect externally and figure out whether the relationship is right. But there's a third option that's rarely granted any thought: taking a break. When couples hit a roadblock, they usually weigh the pros and cons of staying together and breaking up. ![]()
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